Monkey Mia, Rocks, Rocks and Perth

The places with the most marketing are the most forgettable. Yes, I mean forgettable, not unforgettable

Welcome to Monkey Mia.

This is the place we all know. It's the place dolphins come to shore and swim around with you. It's the place where you feel like a Sea World Performer just seconds away from grabbing a fin and being taken for a ride.

Well, um, no, that's how the marketing would like you to think it's like. It's really 100 people that walk across a broken shell "beach" to the waters edge while a Marine Parks officer gives you a lecture about not touching the dolphins. Anyone that walks too deep (ankle deep) may be asked to leave. Oh, and if you think about touching them, you will end up with a fine! Yep.

Oi, don't reach down into the water, you might touch one!

So, when did the government "own" wild animals now? I must have missed that memo. Gee, I might just go to the next beach and bags a pod of dolphins for myself. I'll call it Monkey Mal and make sure no one gets too close to my pod! I might even bags a Whale or two too. I mean Japan does, although when they bags one, they really bag one! Our government should have bagsed them first and they could have given Japan a fine!

We left Monkey Mia in search of more rocks. It had been a while since we saw some rocks and were getting a little anxious. Thankfully we found the mother load!!!

These puppy's are called Stromatolites. Ok, so not really a rock per se, but it hit the spot. Now, a little education; these things are alive and thought to be the first forms of life on earth. 3.5 Billion years ago this was it. We all evolved from these. So in a way, our cousins... our family if you like. If you listen closely you may hear them bitching about each other or complaining whose house (or rock) they have to go to for Christmas lunch this year.

We stopped at the Caravan Park near the stromatolites for some Breakfast. This place was stuck in the 70's. Everything was in slow motion. Hell, even the guy that runs the place had a fish tank with his own stromatolite. 

Did I say they grow less than a centimeter a year. I guess not much happens out here and it's not like he can watch the grass grow when it's all dirt!

But it wasn't all backwards out here. They did have a mobile phone shop. 

He said I could connect any phone I wanted to a plan that suited me. He said he had a 5 metre plan, a 15 metre plan and his most popular, a 30 metre plan; that allowed you to take your phone as far as the BBQ area! Nice!

Next stop was Kalbarri. We were told to stop here as it had a good river and great fishing, plus Geraldton wasn't that nice apparently.

Picture my face when I see the water. Oh yeah, Jetskiing time for me! First stop the Visitor Information Centre, I needed to make sure the missus was going to be entertained while I was away skiing... 

This is where things went bad. First the woman said the river is only 7 km then blocked and has an 8 knot speed limit all the way. WHAT. NO WAY!

Ok, I'll jetski further south, all good. So I ask about a Fishing Charter. I'd love to catch one of those sweet game fish that everyone comes to WA for.

Nope. Fishing Ban for all the "trophy" fish from Kalbarri to Esperance (pretty much all the good parts of the West Australian coast). You have got to be joking!

Ok, how about a Dive?

At this point, she should have just said there are no things for men here. You need to go to Geraldton for all that. God DAMN Grey Nomads who said come here. Seriously, I AM NOT going to a Cafe to drink tea, eat scones and knit!

So we decided to have a look at some Gorges and Rocks. We looooooooove rocks!

Even Kawasaki Bear decided to leave the Caravan park for these rocks! Wow... roooocks.

Two nights here, and we're gone!

I was very excited about our next stop. You see, these things only happen once in a blue moon.

It's more ROCKS.... ok, so they happen a little more often than a blue moon.. ok ok a lot more often, say like "a white moon" then (well you do get a day a month when there isn't a moon at all, and some days we don't see rocks...remember that rainy day a few months ago, we didn't see rocks then!)

These amazing formations are called the Pinnacles. People come from all over the world to see them. I even come across a family from the Netherlands eating lunch from their camper in the parking lot. It was either lunch or they were celebrating their experience. You could see their glowing faces, they loved it here. Either that or they forgot to apply some sun screen, but lets say it was glowing with excitement. They traveled across the world to see these after all.

Ok, who am I kidding.... they are just rocks! God damn boring lumps of ROCKS. I'm amazed it wasn't called the Lost City for midgets or something equally as imaginary.

But let's not get to hung up on these things, I was excited.... excited to be arriving in Perth and finally able to really go jetskiing.

I planned to hook up with some guys and ski at Mandurah, just south of Perth. first things first though, we need to book into the crappiest caravan park there. I mean it can't be all pleasure... the missus and I needed something to bitch about at night.

We pulled the rig into the most mozzie infested swamp spot we could find. I lathered myself with bug spray, that oddly doubles as deodorant now, and started setting up.

After spending half an hour crawling around unhooking stuff I really needed a shower. I first needed to find the shower block. Looking around, there were; old broken caravans, dilapidated sheds and boxes covered with decomposing tarpaulins everywhere. Thankfully the missus come to my rescue and pointed to the condemned building and said "there it is, enjoy your shower princess".

Ok, they are not pictures of the caravan park, that's the old convict built Fremantle Jail (I refuse to write Gaol, that word just looks dumb). However, if they offered a Powered Van Site I would have stayed the night there. The toilet block was better than our one after all. Also, the razer wire would have stopped to locals from wandering in drunk to see their mate that lives in the park permanently!

But I can tough it out... because tomorrow is jeskiing day!

Thanks to the boys that showed me around. It was good to get out and be "normal" again. 

We did come across a pod of dolphins that I claimed my own too. I'm just sending the WA government a letter now. If they go anywhere near my pod I'm going to send them a typed up bit of paper, about the size of a shopping docket, and tell them they have to pay me for going too close to MY dolphins.

Well, that's it for Perth, it's now time to head east; the home stretch... a bloody long stretch that is too. But before we get home, I need to see Ayres Rock....Remember I love rocks! Oh, and the lucky buggers that live in rocks at Coober Pedy, wow!