Goodbye Kimberley's, Hello Pilbara

Kununarra and Lake Argyle was a special place, but as with all good things, they eventually come to an end.

It was time to leave and head further west.

Now before anyone gets upset at the next thing I'm going to say, let me first set the scene. We've looked at more gorges, more rocks, more dirt and more watering holes than probably 21 million, of the 22 million, people currently living in Australia. I'm probably being generous with the million that have seen more than us too.

We left Kununarra and headed towards the Bungle Bungles. Unfortunately the caravan park there was full. Yep, full. Don't ask me how, maybe a local was having a wedding, or a cow and bull were mating, or maybe full means more than ten people stopped in and they only have enough dried out sausage rolls for six people a day?

Either way we kept driving, BUT with a plan of staying at Halls Creek and driving back. 

We finally got to Halls Creek and stopped in at the Visitor Centre to ask about the Bungles. Apparently the Bungles are a two hour drive in from the turn off at the highway, which was a little over an hour from Halls Creek. So, a round trip would be six hours. 

Sorry guys, I just couldn't face another six hour drive to have a look at some more rocks.

We decided to keep driving and aim for Fitzroy Crossing before nightfall. That meant we had to get some fast lunch at Halls Creek. The fast lunch is now referred to as the roadhouse roast, otherwise known as a sausage roll and a flavoured milk.

After hours and hours of driving, seeing massive amounts of open, desolate and isolated space we finally arrived at Fitzroy Crossing.

Now, I can't tell you a lot about 'the crossing', as the Halls Creek Roadhouse Roast made its way through my system faster than a toothpaste tube squeezed by the Hulk, however, the caravan parks ablutions were nice. They were that good I decided to visit them a few more times that night. Thankfully the roast vacated fully by the morning and I was good to go.

Fitzroy River, when flowing, is massive, but the wet season wasn't very wet. It seemed like every river bridge we crossed was desert dry. Fitzroy River was no different, except for it's enormous size, it was like an eight lane dusty highway, taking people to the end of the earth and never to be seen again.

Next stop was the highly anticipated town of Broome. We had a fellow traveller describe it as the Gold Coast of the West Coast but without the high-rise buildings.

What kind of back burning bush were they smoking! Maybe it could have been the Byron Bay of the west coast....maybe?

We arrived Saturday afternoon and decided to unpack and have dinner in Broome. Oddly, we found everything was closed, well except for a takeaway BBQ Chicken place (sort of like KFC's poor cousin). We ordered the best we could get and then asked the girl at the counter "where is everyone?". With a puzzled look on her face she replied, "what do you mean?". In a painfully obvious way, I said "are we missing an attraction here or something, there doesn't seem to be anyone around. Is this normal?". She laughed in a dumb-tourist-kind-of-way and said "yeah, this is normal".

So let's scrap the similarities between Broome and Byron Bay too.

But Cable Beach is amazing right? 

Yep, it had heaps of sand and if you walked west... I know you won't believe me with this next part.... some sea water and waves! Weird as right! Only a crazy person would have guessed it would be... um... like a beach! Like a picture of a Big Mac on a poster, the real thing just doesn't have the same sizzle. I guess all the raving reviews are by star-struck pommies escaping their cloudy, rocky, cold seaside shore at home. I bet they thought my chicken shop was a quaint little boutique takeaway not to be missed also.

The saying goes, when in Rome, do what the Romans do. That meant, at around 5:30pm the entire hippy population, and some of the sun-burnt pommies, of Broome rushed to the coast for the obligatory sunset photo.

So here is the money shot

If you want to secure your own part of the 2manyjaunts adventure, I'm taking pre-orders for copies of this photo now.

But it's now time to leave the Kimberley's and head into the Pilbara. So, if the Kimberley is the true heart of Australia, the Pilbara is the beefed up biceps doing all the heavy lifting.

At the steroid injection point of the Pilbara Body Builder is Port Hedland. This working town is a hustle and bustle of dual-cab work utes buzzing the dusty tarmac from one area to another. I can't help think I've been taken back in time to the industrial revolution and dumped right on to an 1850's job site (did they have dual cab utes back then?).

This is far from a holiday destination. The caravan parks are full of zombie looking dudes in fluro shirts on their mobile phones; no doubt calling their respective missus back on the oblivious east coast just before they turn in for the night. You see, there are no tours, no tourist magnet structures and no magic looking beaches; just the smell of sweat and the clattering of cheap diesel utes that have been flogged to an inch of their life.

Stocked with supplies, we headed south, essentially inland, into the core of the Pilbara, the place where it all originates (sort of).

Welcome to Tom Price.

If you ever wondered what Man can do to the earth, wonder no more. This was once a mountain, but now nothing more than a hole in the ground.

What was once there has been shipped to China by the millions. A two kilometre train carries 3 million dollars of "Australia" to China every week.

No doubt the keyboard I'm typing this blog on has a little Tom Price in it. I'm also sure the rusty steel of my camper was due to some kind of reaction with miners sweat before it left Oz.

Oddly, while Tom Price is a town of workers, you could be mistaken for it being just a normal outback town. It has a similar feel to our little coastal towns back home, just that the coast is a mere six hour drive away.

This is where things got weird. You see, I was talking to my cuz, who lives in Tom Price, and mentioned one of the stickers at the roadhouse just up the road. He was a little puzzled that there was a roadhouse "just up the road". I said yeah, it's called Auski. He laughed and said "that's almost 160k's away, hardly just up the road".


I suppose after 16,000'ish kilometres, and given that 160 kilometres is a paltry 1% of my travels, I guess to me 160k's is a short trip. You see, if you can go there and back on a tank of fuel, and without a food stop, it's a "hey dear, just ducking down the road, be back shortly" kind of drive, isn't it???

After a few beers and some good laughs over a couple of days, we headed for Exmouth and Coral Bay.

Stay tuned.. 

Kimberleys - Lake Argyle and the Ord River

I'm going to open this post by saying, OH MY GOD!

Lake Argyle and the Ord River is a must see for anyone living on Earth. If you are reading this and not from Earth I'm sure you have some alien landscapes just as amazing.. but if not, forget visiting Pine Gap or Area 51, head to the Kimberley's.

I'm going to let the pictures do the talking in this update. I'm sure they will speak for themselves, plus it means you don't have to listen to my ramblings.

But before I show you all the pictures, I'm sure you are wondering what I have broken lately? 

Well NOTHING! Ha. 

Ok, that's not exactly true. You see, we had to leave Kakadu early to arrive at Kununarra before dark. That meant that the wildlife is a lot more active. Unfortunately, the thing we broke this time was Skippy's cousin. I guess it was only a matter of time before I hit one, I mean they are everywhere! Thankfully we didn't break anything and thankfully 5 ton of F250 meant it was painless for skippy too. So RIP skip and sorry I couldn't stop in time.

We finally arrived in Kununurra, 800+ kilometres from Kakadu, at around 5pm. Or was that 3:30pm, or maybe 5:30pm Sydney time??? Either way, sometime in the afternoon. The time zones are screwing me up.

After an overnight stop for fuel and food we headed to Lake Argyle.

So, without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the main attraction; Lake Argyle

We immediately unpacked (to the missus' disgust) again and had a look around.

A swim here!

And then the worlds best sunset cruise around Lake Argyle

The next day I had to take the jetski onto Lake Argyle. 

You can't imagine the sheer size of this lake. Estimates put it at around 20 times larger than Sydney Harbour. It's beyond huge. I was probably only able to explore way less than a quarter of this massive lake.

If I'm honest, the feeling of not only being the only jetski on the entire lake, but the ONLY boat, made me feel a little weird (sort of a little freaked out like when you need to walk outside at night after watching a scary movie). All of the "what ifs", the "what could go wrong", seem to haunt you while you're cruising around in total isolation. No wakes from other boats, no ripples, no breeze, no sound! No one to hear your screams... ok, the last one was a little theatrical, but it would be true.

Try to imagine it. Imagine you survived an apocalypse in Sydney and found yourself looking for any sign of life on the harbour, BUT it was twenty times bigger!!

However, the isolation, got me thinking. I wonder if I could jetski from Lake Argyle to Kununarra? I wonder if the river is deep enough? I wonder if I can convince the missus to drive 70 kilometres with camper and trailer back to Kununarra and meet me (assuming I make it).

Well, the stars all aligned for me and tomorrow was the big day. I'm jetskiing down the Ord River! Yeer har!

With day time temps around forty degrees, we got up early and packed everything up to beat the heat. I was in the water by 8am. By the way, the water temp up here is around thirty degrees.

And off I go.

What a buzz. There were small channels, mini rapids, bush tunnels, shallow crossings, steep gorges and even a Croc. Yep, a Croc. This was meant to be a "management" zone, but there are warnings everywhere that some Croc's sneak up the Ord.

I made it. Whoo Hoo.

This, by far, was the most adrenalin fueled jetski ride of my entire life and I didn't even go over 80 kph! It was truly an adventure like none other.

Next stop is the Bungle Bungles, assuming we beat the wet season, it's just started raining here tonight.

Darwin - Ancient Australia

We're not in Kansas anymore Toto.

In this update, we visit; Kathrine, Darwin, Litchfield Park and Kakadu 

After so much dirt, we arrived at Kathrine and booked a Caravan Park with grass, yes grass. Oh sweet grass, how it felt between my toes, like vibrant little green pixies taking me, momentarily, back to the East Coast.

But alas, it was my little green home in a dry hot dust bowl called Katherine. Now when I say hot, we all know that 30 degrees is hot right? I mean 35 is sweltering and 40 is flaming hot, yeah? Well, what about 48 degrees! Yes, 48 degrees in the car park at Katherine Gorge. I think the appropriate term for that is hotter than hell!!!

Kathrine Gorge

At that temperature, the sweat from your back, arrogantly, while uninvited, makes it's way down your spine and without grace straight into your butt crack. It probably doesn't help that my lard arse is like a sweat factory operating in a sweat demanding global boom!

Staying here, in the heat, wasn't for me. My body just isn't made for this temperature, so we packed up after a couple of days and headed north to Darwin. 

Katherine, the town, once again wasn't what I expected. It was a place that made me feel lucky to have what we have, and live in the place we live in (and the very good people I spend my time with). No doubt something needs to be done here, but I guess the old saying; "out of sight, out of mind" applies here. If Katherine was a suburb of Sydney it would probably be in the evening news every night until something was done about it.

But enough whinging, my next stop is Edith Falls, and it was time to cool my fat arse down a bit. This is a must stop place, and had it not have been so hot, we could have camped here (you see, without power, is without air conditioning, and that's one part of camping I can't do without). It was a fantastic place to have a swim though.

Edith Falls

But onward and upward, we were heading towards civilization and we couldn't wait.

Massive Termite Mound between Katherine and Darwin

But before we got there, we come across this massive termite mound on the side of the road. It practically dwarfed my rig. How old must this thing be? It got me thinking though, if we placed this on the side of the road in other spots, it would make the perfect emergency braking zone. I mean, why bother with a sandy run-off from a deep decent when you could just "grow" a 5 metre termite mound to stop those runaway trucks.

Hello Darwin... I mean... heeeeeeeelllllloooooo Darrrrwin. Coo'ee

Where is Darwin? Is this it? No way!

Ok, some quick research on Wikipedia explained the lack of "people". With a population of around 130,000, which is around 50,000 less than my little central coast town, calling it a city is a little misleading isn't it. From now on my home town of Woy Woy will be known as the waterfront capital of the central coast.

Darwin is well known for Cyclone Tracy and the bombing during wwii. 

Oil Tunnels

Darwin War Memorial

I can't help wonder why the Japanese went to the effort of attacking Darwin though. While taking nothing away from the men and women that lost their lives defending Australia, it was like a drunk dude (Japan), full of liquid courage (Sake), walked up and slapped another dude (us Aussies) in the face while our big brother (the USA) watched the whole thing happen. What did they think was going to happen next? What is the Japanese word for whoops?

So we know the people up north are a bit weird right, I mean it's too hot up here for normal people to live isn't it. Surely this kind of heat has an effect on the brain, doesn't it?

Well, a group of deviate Darwinians decided to copy the acts of their southern brothers and steal the wheels of this truck. They knew they had to put it up on bricks, so that's what they did first. Once there they just couldn't work out how to get the wheels off, so left it there and decided to come back later when the weather wasn't so hot.

I guess it's taking them a little while to work it out too ;-)

But enough of my ramblings, you want to see the Croc's right. 

There are Croc's you see in a zoo, then there are Croc's lazying around on the banks of a river, and then there are these monsters.

This honestly took me by surprise. My eyes were fixated on these monsters, wide open like dinner plates from a fancy restaurant. The cruise, called the Adelaide River Queen, is a must see if you ever head to Darwin. It's worth the trip up just to see this. Totally jaw dropping and absolutely amazing and terrifying at the same time.

Needless to say, we were a little weary about murky river water from now on.



With the wild Croc sightings ticked off my bucket list, we headed down to Litchfield Park. This is like Kakadu's little brother.

It was time to make use of that 4X4 system on our monster truck again. This time a river crossing.

I wonder how deep it is and how far around it goes?

After seeing the jumping Croc's, neither the missus or I were too keen to walk the track and check the depth (I moved the sign from the side so you can see this little warning too).

River Crossing in Litchfield Park

Thankfully, some "locals" pulled up, and drove on through. I figured if a Hilux and Ford Ranger can make it, we should be ok. If not we would be drawing straws who would get out and connect the snatch strap!

So we risked our lives to see a place called the Blyth Homestead within Liitchfield Park. This little shack, barely two metres tall, stood there, well and truly, in the "outback". Yes, people used to live in it. Der, I know right, why? I bet they didn't even have Internet.

Rear view of Blyth Homestead

We also had to see "The Lost City"... or was that the lost rocks? I mean, seriously, someone looked at a bunch of rocks and saw a city? Hell, next time I look at the clouds, I'll be saying wow, a jetski race, see that cloud, that's a 300x and that one behind is an RXP-X and the one way back there is an FZR. Come on, surely someone is laughing their heads off that all these people are going to see this imaginary place.

I figured given we were "seeing things", I should stop and talk to this tour guide. He "said" follow me through here, it's going to be great". We waited for a few hours but he didn't move. Dying of thirst I just couldn't wait any longer so decided to leave. I said goodbye and gave him a wave, yet not even an aussie outback "Hooroo" did I get from him. How rude!










But, jokes aside, it was worth the trip into Litchfield Park. There are the Waterfalls and the swimming at Wangi, and this place called Florence Falls. Stunning.

Well enough of Darwin and surrounds, it was time for Kakadu. Besides, I got my tyres fixed and the car got serviced. It was the first place we reached that I didn't actually break anything. In fact, we managed to get things fixed! This has got to be a sign of good times to come.... doesn't it?









Kakadu is a few hundred kilometres east of Darwin. It's a long lonely drive full of endless scrub plains, roadtrains and people waving to you as they pass. For me it felt like a days driving, but for the missus who had a little snooze and our girl who watched a couple of TV Shows on the laptop, it was "wow, we're here already"... yeah, whatever dreamers.

Kakadu is truly the wilderness. It's hard to believe people survived here.

What you see here is Kakadu on the right side (west) of the river and Arnham Land on the left, eastern side (yes I was taking a photo from Arnham Land!)

You seem to lose all sense of bearing here. Everything looks the same.

What way is north? 

It's easy enough in the morning or evening, but midday, when the sun is mostly directly overhead, it's not so obvious.

I found myself on more than one occasion thinking I was going in one direction, only to find I was going in the complete opposite direction. I almost didn't believe my GPS, for a split second, and at one time, thinking maybe it was wrong and I was right.

You really don't want to get lost in this place either.

This monster was lurking in the reeds waiting for us to make a wrong turn.

But if we didn't get eaten by a croc, we could die of a snake bite. 

But if that didn't get us, we would die of thirst, and the man eating sized birds would pick our remains to the bones and we'd vanish for ever.

Maybe only remembered in paintings on the numerous rocks around here a thousand years from now.

All these paintings have meanings, or lessons. Whether it's telling a story of animals, or the European Invaders, or even a warning for people who do the wrong things.

Like this painting, my interpretation of the above; a man who was not getting enough sex from his wife, and his manly bits swelling, to an obviously painful size, was totally wrong. 

Apparently, this painting was about stealing?? No way! I mean that has got to be the worst case of blue-ball I've ever seen. 

Anyway, I explained MY version to the missus and warned her against abstinence while camping. I said it was the "traditional" law that I avoid this affliction. She wants to seek advice and clarification from Mimi (the aboriginal spirits) before she agrees to my version of this painting.

While I wait for "relief", our Kakadu experience has come to an end. Next stop is Lake Argyle WA. Finally I'll be able to get the 300x on the water again. I hope!

Top End of the Aussie Outback

It was time to leave the East Coast and start our outback adventure.

The plan was to get to Northern Territory in a week or so.... what's the rush right? This was the "adventure" part of our trip. The part we can see "real" Australia. The part everyone asks about, The Outback!

Our travel across (locations below)

We left Port Douglas (A) and took the inland road to Undara (B). They have some Volcanic Lava Tubes there that everyone said is a must see.

Undara Lava Tube

Another Tube... woo hoo!

But something was weird. I was standing in the middle of what was an ancient massive lava flow thinking... um yeah, ok a big hole in the ground. So, what's next... is there something exciting we'll see now?

Yeah, a tree! Wow! (that's sarcasm if you can't hear me). It's exciting because it grows from a collapsed tube that ran under the ground. I must say, the English tour guide (yes, we had a tour guide and it cost $52 per person... I know, a rip off right) was a very excitable chap. God help him if he rode a jetski, the poor guy would probably pass out with an adrenaline rush as soon as his bum hit the jettrim seat cover.

Given it was almost 40 degrees, hot, dirty, dusty, with lots of bull-ants and flies, we decided one night was enough. This was our intro into the outback and I was a little concerned. But it was all part of the adventure right?

Next stop was Porcupine Gorge (C). We booked a camp site here as there was supposed to be a good swimming hole at the base of the gorge. Oh how I looked forward to a swim too. It was so hot.

We took a "short cut" straight down. It was only a few hundred kilometers, yet our Navigation said it was going to take 5 hours?? That's odd, I thought.

Well, it all become very clear why the nav was saying 5 hours. It's slow going when you're driving on this!

The road between Undara and Porcupine Gorge (damn dirt)

Welcome to the outback! 

In a few hundred kilometers we saw maybe 3 other cars. We definitely took the wrong road. Actually, you knew something was very wrong when you come across some road work signs warning of rough road, only to find it in better condition than the road you were just on. I was looking forward to roadwork signs after that.

Pulled up on the "highway" for a photo

We finally arrived at Porcupine Gorge (C), however, for some reason, again, I wasn't feeling the love from the natural wonders the place had to offer.

Porcupine Gorge looking south'ish

To my utter disappointment, the lack of rain had left the water in the gorge green and looking unfortunately uninviting. That's a 100 metres or more down there!

The car park at Porcupine Gorge. That's my car in the distance. Notice no one else is here??

Maybe it was the city slicker in me, but I just couldn't stay here. I couldn't swim, it had no power and that meant no air conditioner, so we got in the car and decided to head to Hughenden (D), it's a main town after all.

Our plan was to stay in Hughenden (D) that night. 

As we drove in, we quickly realised that there is now a new definition for "main town". Ok, it was Sunday, but where was everyone!?

We decided to check out the Tourist Information Centre and ask about a place for lunch and the best caravan park. Well, no sooner did we start talking, the whole towns power went out.... arrrgh. Ok, bye Hughenden, we're out of here.

It was probably at this point I realised I wasn't the outback type. I guess you learn a few things about yourself during a trip like this. It's shallow I know, but I expected more from the towns. I expected... well... civilization. A cafe, a restaurant, hell even Subway. I mean really, do people out here live on stale roadhouse sausage rolls and out of date chocolate milk?

Because of our anti-outbackness, we put our foot down an traveled as far as we could. That was Julia Creek (E). Just like our exPM with the same name, we found it as uninspiring, with little substance, and a feeling that we'd be better off without it. No offence to the people living there. All friendly people, but come on, guys, have you heard of the big cafe shop boom in Australia!!

The next day we decided to make a dash for Tennant Creek (F). A massive 900+ kilometre drive.

Tennant Creek is a big town right? Nope, it's smaller than our little home town of Woy Woy on the central coast of NSW. Not what I was expecting again!

We unpacked our stuff on top of more dirt and got organised for a trip to Devils Marbles the next day. A quick look over everything was standard procedure when we stop.

It was at this point my usual state of breaking something at each stop exceeded all expectations.

What is that???

Oh my god... Noooooooooooo! The tyre was destroyed and we were maybe 12 hours drive from Darwin with one spare! This is not good. Nothing I can do about it other than cross my fingers and hope we make it.

We decided to go to Devils Marbles the next day anyway. I'm glad I did. After thousands of kilometres of nothingness this was worth the trip. Uniquely amazing is what comes to mind. These massive round boulders were everywhere. They were all in an area around the size of a maybe 10 football fields, that's it. Like they were dropped here from space.

Devils Marbles Site

Devils Marbles "artty fartty shot"

A swim in the parks pool, and then begin to pack up for our early morning exit. We weren't going to miss Tennant Creek either. Again, there is nothing there. I really didn't picture these towns like this. I thought they were a lot bigger. Most don't even have proper grocery stores let alone supermarkets. I'm embarassed, being born here, and not knowing what these towns are really like.

The next leg was another big one; Mataranka (G). I can't believe how boring the drive is. I mean there is nothing. But not nothing as in the towns are small, I mean NOTHING. Even a game of eye-spy would be over in 3 letters; D - Dirt, T - Trees, and  R - Roadtrains (or Rocks if you wanted to be tricky)

An odd raised "hill" that breaks up an otherwise flat landscape

Here we are now. We've arrived in Mataranka (G). Mataranka is a "secret" spot known for it's Hot Springs or Thermal Pools (a hot creek that runs around this area). Its an Oasis in the middle of a dry and dusty outback.

Mataranka Thermal Pool

As spectacular as this place looks, it does have massive sand flies that have evolved their ability to bite you through your own T-shirt. But, the water was amazing and well worth the stop.

Next stop Katherine (H). Thankfully only a short 100km drive away.

So we crossed from the east coast and arrived in Katherine in 3 nights, yet it took us 6 weeks to travel from NSW to Port Douglas. I guess this is further proof I'm just not the aussie outback boy I thought I might have been. Honestly, I hate the red dirt, I can't stand the heat (without water), the flies must drink Red Bull, and the towns are like Rest Stops with cheap BBQ facilities. Sorry, that's just how I feel about it. I'm sure others love it, but I guess in the end, "you can take the boy from the coast, but you can't take the coast from the boy".

I miss the water already....